…and other garbage I’m tired of reading about.

Get your attention? Did it piss you off? Good. I meant to. Oh, and get prepared, because their is no list either. Just a good old fashioned rant by yours truly.

What am I ranting about? I’m glad you asked.

Parent Wars

This garbage has got to stop. I’ve been noticing over the last few months a barrage of articles that are written for no other purpose than to raise people’s hackles. They are inflammatory at best, and downright mean at their worst. I’m not going to give any of these slimeballs the pleasure of linking to their articles. But if you’ve been around the blogosphere lately, you’ve seen mention of them.

The point is, that kids have parents and their parents are human. And as humans, we all have shortcomings. BUT, we also have talents. There is no cookie-cutter approach to parenting that is going to work for everyone. So, why judge a parent on those same cookie-cutter criteria? My guess is that these sites know that drama sells. I know, I’ve written about it. And I hate it. But facts are facts. We watch the news to see what horrible thing du jour is going on. And we tend to read things that piss us off.

Also, there’s something I’m noticing in the comment sections on most of these ‘flame posts’. People are looking for solidarity. Everyone wants to know that there is someone out there who:

a:) Has their back.
b:) Is going through whatever they are going through.

See…no one likes to be alone. Especially when we are doing hard shit like parenting. So, they aren’t talking to the majority of women who have great guys when they are trashing men. They are talking to women who have shitty husbands. They aren’t speaking for all men when they dog on moms. They are just speaking for the dads who married bad and didn’t figure it out until a kid was in the picture. But we are all reading and watching. So, often, it’s easy to condemn someone with righteous indignation while being guilty of the same crimes as well.

I think there was a verse in the Bible about not worrying about the splinter in your neighbor’s eye while having a log wedged in yours. Yeah, I’m paraphrasing, whatevs. The visual is awesome, though.

Hang on a sec. I gotta go throw some rocks from my glass porch.

My essential point is this: Stop buying into the antiquated notions that one parent is better than the other! Sure, in some instances, that is true. But largely, I’ve found that every parent I talk to, tries their damnedest to not screw up their kids and give them as much of a head start in this world that they can. And, yes, I hang out with awesome parents.

This really hit home with me this week, as my wife was out of town for several days. And what I thought was going to be a challenge turned into an all-out war for my sanity. Sure, we were just getting our sea legs by the time mom made it home, and things would have gotten easier, but it really hit home how incredibly hard parenting alone is. It showcased all of the invisible things she does. It highlighted the intangible effects she has on our family. Does that make her a better parent than me? Nope.

Am I a better parent than she is? Not by a long shot, mister. But what we have is a symbiosis. She’s better at some things. I’m better at others.  Stop buying into the hate, y’all. No one wins when all we do is tear others down. Next time you see someone spreading some hate…spread some love. Or just walk away. Just stop buying into their tricks. It’s all about pageviews and ad revenue, guys. Stop being a sucker and love your kids’ other parent. (Even if you hate your kids’ other parent.)

It’s the only way we are all going to make it out of here alive. (See what I did? I added drama. Bring me the pageviews!!!!) 😀


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4 Responses

  1. Lewis

    Im with you sir, I got your back. I know what you mean about Symbosis too, eand the wofe are the same.

  2. Kristi

    Drama. Gains you readers, helps chop away at your integrity. I’d rather have no readers than drama.
    Glad you survive, papa and I’m even more glad Sheri’s home. 🙂

  3. Phil

    Sounds great in theory, but in practice you’re COMPLETELY WRONG! For starters, who has ever had a tree in their eye, and if they did, would a bird land there? FLAME ON!

    Obviously I kid… I have enough to worry about raising my own kids to have to worry about every other parent out there. No one will know truly if they ever made all the right choices, and it’s futile to even try. If you’re doing the best you can, then you’re doing enough.

    • diaper_dad

      And that’s really the crux of the entire Parent War debate that seems to rage on. You do the best you can. If you have a spouse or co-parent that is worthy of being called a human being, they try the best they can. And that’s ALL you can do. Any other claims are just aggrandizing and irresponsible parenting. Besides, even if the courts call you a better parent, you don’t get a parade. So, there.

      Also, you may have missed the awesome illustration that I put in the post. That dude DEFINITELY had a tree in there. Furthermore, the way it’s lodged in, pretty much guarantees that birds will steer clear. They don’t dig roosting on roots like that. 😀


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