CP and H,
During your years, you will learn lots from your dad and me. Mostly me.
I’ll be the wise one while your dad will teach you baseball stats and who the lead guitarist of Metallica is. While this is valid information, I was the ex-teacher. So sit up straight and listen:
I’m not perfect. I never claim to be and I never will be. But I’m the perfect parent for you because deep down inside, you are me ( and some of your father )
I will take a bullet for you. Never in my life did I ever feel that way with anyone. It’s my duty as your mom. I’d sacrifice my life for you to live on. This includes but isn’t limited to a zombie apocalypse.
I’d kill for you. It may just be a spider or the occasional bee that just doesn’t get it but it will happen; no questions asked. Now if this gets more complicated, I’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Never forget- I’m part robot, part ninja, all bad-ass.
I freaking love you. I love you like I love chocolate-covered pretzels only 1,000,000 times more. I love you so much it makes my heart ache. I love you both so much that I almost forget the pain and suffering of both your pregnancies. Almost. That’s a lot of love. A lot. It can’t be measured really. Only a mother feels that kinds of love. It’s not explainable so I’ll stop trying.
Everything worth learning will be taught through your mistakes. And you will make TONS!! I hope that with each mistake it teaches you that kindness rocks, rudeness bites and politeness will get you cookies. They maybe karmic cookies but they are cookies. The more you earn, the better.
Those are all the things that you need to know. Well, other than what your teachers show you. Respect your teachers. They drink a lot after dealing with you. I know I did.
You better remember all this or I’ll haunt you.
your rockin mom
the robot mommy is written by Kristi Gilbert- a crazy and mostly ridiculous mother of 2 with not a stitch of experience in writing and even less credentials to do so. Yet despite this, she blogs from her heart and her left pant leg about her life as a mama, a wifey and a mean ol’ Starbucks manager. Her posts are laced with a sensitive soul and a forked tongue. Hopefully someone will pick up on this talent or shut her site down for good. Until then, stop by a visit; you won’t be disappointed.