Ever encounter someone so incompetent that all you can do is slowly shake your head? Seth has.

It was a Saturday morning. I know what you’re thinking…

“WHY ARE YOU GOING TO A STARBUCKS ON A SATURDAY MORNING??”

I know. I know. I forgot to brew coffee on Friday night. So, I run up here and as soon as I opened the door, I bumped into someone. Let me be specific, I bumped into someone’s back. Someone standing in line.

Now, let me just say that I have been coming to this Starbucks for a LONG time and in my entire time I have never encountered a line all the way to the door before. I didn’t know what to do. I stood there dumbfounded for a couple of minutes before deciding to call my wife and let her know that she might be getting her caffeine fix for lunch…

After getting off the phone, I stood in line. For. A. Long. Time. I watched as seven other people walked in, stood in line for a minute or two and said they’d rather go without.

I know what you’re thinking…

“WHY ARE YOU WILLING TO WAIT THAT LONG FOR SOME FRIGGEN COFFEE??”

Long story. But, I promised my wife she could have whatever she wanted for breakfast for her birthday. For her birthday, she wanted some Starbucks and a breakfast sandwich in bed. And I wasn’t about to say no. Hence, the waiting.

I finally got closer to the register. The guy in front of me was placing his order. HE ORDERED 4 DRINKS, GUYS! Then, I heard him as he repeated his drink order again. Then, as he was paying, he repeated it again.

Can I just say that I got that sinking feeling in my gut?

Finally, it was my turn!

I walked up, and placed my order for two sandwiches and two coffees. And I watched as she wrote the wrong thing on the cups. I corrected her. She repeated what I said, but didn’t bother correcting the cups. I said it again, and she replied that she knew what my order was and proceeded to put the cups in the extra long line of empty cups awaiting that glorious moment when they get to fulfill their destiny and get filled with the elixir of life.

I walked over the bar area (where I normally sit) and waited for my cups to come up so I could make sure the barista working the hot bar knew that they were written wrong. I sat there and watched as order after order got dumped out and remade. One lady was freaking out next to me. She had an interview she was in danger of being late to. She finally yelled out, that she had to leave and to just keep her F-ing coffee. The barista (read: the manager) decided it was a great time to go ahead and make the lady’s drink anyway. Even though, two people told her that the woman had already left.

Finally, after watching literally seven drinks having to be remade, they got to the guy-in-front-of-me’s order. The barista put his four drinks up on the bar and called his name. The guy came over and said, “These aren’t my drinks.”

*head desk*

Even after being told three times, the girl got his order wrong. COMPLETELY. I watched the manager dump four more drinks and remake them. Finally she got to mine. I tried to catch her to tell her that they were wrong on the cup. But I was too late to catch her with one of them. Finally, I got my drinks. Then, I asked where my sandwiches were. *BOOM*

I’m waiting for my sandwiches when I heard it. The single best interaction I’ve EVER HEARD…EVER!

The girl is writing on a guy’s cup. She asked his name. He said something I didn’t hear. Then she asks him a question people with weird names have heard from the earliest days of name on cupdom.

“How do you spell that?”

The guys looks at her and shakes his head. Seriously, the dude did a triple take! She stared at him with pen in hand, ready to write his name. Finally, he says rather loudly:

“E. D.”

(To recap, I waited a total of 37 minutes for my coffee…just to hear that. It was TOTALLY worth the wait, guys!)

I was able to grab my sandwiches and get out before losing it completely. Needless to say, the poor girl didn’t last very long. Later, I asked the manager why she let the girl run the register that long when she was screwing up so many orders. And I found out she was putting the girl in a sink-or-swim situation, desperately hoping that something might click. It didn’t.

The periods are added for emphasis...

The periods are added for emphasis…

Join us next time when our intrepid hero Seth encounters a beast that H.P. Lovecraft would have been proud of…

Do you have a Tale from the Bux that you’d like to share? Shoot me an email at diaper(dot)daddies(at)gmail(dot)com!

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